My world in pictures & words.

I hope these things make their way into my story somewhere between "Once upon a time" and "I hope he pulls through, the old bastard."




Goal: Learn to Kite Surf


Death defying isn't my thing.  Nowhere on my list of life goals, or in my heart will anyone ever find a hint of death defiance.  Jumping out of a plane, no. BASE jumping, hell no. Swimming with Tiger Sharks, nuh-uh.  But in my own way, I push the envelope. I like to ski, fast; I enjoy impossible books drenched in dust--achoo; and I long to skim the shallow margins of the deep.  I want to trace the waves with the tips of my wings, and when the breeze whispers in my ear, to rise up and catch the sun's fire, if only for a moment, before quenching my burning spirit. High up, soul ablaze, I long to point my beak down towards the earth, wings tucked, and splash into the sea.  I want to crash my soul back in time, to splash my way back into my childhood, to play, like the pelicans I used to watch from the sandy sidewalk while waiting for the school bus, between the fire-hydrant and the rusted Coppertone trash can.


Goal: Ride an Elephant


While searching for a couch to sleep on this summer in Italy ( I came across the profile of an interesting young lady who said she had ridden on an elephant. I told her that riding an elephant sounded like fun, and that I had just added it to my list of life goals.  I thought saying so might make her more inclined to offer her couch.  She didn't.


Goal: Build a Guitar

When I was a kid I used to blow into a hole in my sink to make it BRBRBRBRBRBRBPpP-p-Ppp-p-p---p like a trombone.  It scared the hell out of my parents, until they found out it was just their little space cadet calling the mother-ship to beam him back home.  Since then my musical skills have gotten a bit more sophisticated as has my discretion about where I put my lips. The thought of playing music on an instrument I made myself is as cool as going to the moon in a self made rocket, and a whole lot less dangerous. When I took off for Europe this summer my dad pointed the tractor beam at me and said that if I ever came back home we could build the Martin D-28 sitting in that box in his shop, the one given to him by my people, the ones from the mother-ship.


Goal: Gig

A busted up honkey-tonk bar is what I'm looking for.  A place where dirt, beer, and cowboy boots polish the floor nightly.  I don't care so much if people don't dance, or even listen for that matter.  The smoke will dance. God will listen. And I will smile.



Goal: Write Something

Maybe I will lay down my line of words and pave the way for Jupiter's journey around the far side of the Sun.  Or if not that, I can type my secret intentions along the ecliptic, giving passage for the sun, moon, and stars through our ciderial sphere. And when these don't tickle my fancy, I will sign my name along the equator as the Earth languidly rolls to take my inscription.  Or I could secrete my marrow, through bone and flesh, to preserve my life and defy death.  And if not those, one line at a time I will dismantle my heart and reassemble it on the page, prettier, neater, and stronger than before.  Or perhaps, if a pencil is near by, I'll doodle instead, until my soul gives these little wor(l)ds permission to come out and play.



Goal: Travel All the Way Around the World

--Circumnavigate--with words, if I have ever had a favorite; I set out on a line so profound it acquires dimension; it was my first, and if not yet home, my last, let it be--Circumnavigate--


Goal: One more EPIC ski trip with my family (at least).  

Bring it, down. Smooth, down. Quiet, down. I feel it, touch it, hold it. I know it: down.  Ride it down. Ride it down. Ride it down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Again, again, and again, down.  Down is me. Down is me. Down is me. And up, Family. And down--Me.


Goal: Visit Machu Picchu

I like mountains. I like mysteries. I like Machu Picchu.  My dad claims the folks down there and their ancient civilization had something to do with aliens. I can't really get behind that one.  But I'm cool with the fact that some mysteries will never be solved, just like I'm cool with the fact that on this path called Life sometimes there are mountains that simply have to be climbed.  I've always felt like going to Machu Picchu is one of those must-climb mountains.  There is something in that misty-jungle-mountain-air which has always called me. Something about the place just screams, "HOME."


Goal: Love in Another Language

Looking for love in a foreign tongue: Native French, German, and Spanish speakers preferred. EU passport holders to the front of the line.  Positions available mid-February. Ladies, for consideration please submit your information below.
Buscando el amor en una lengua extranjera: Hablantes nativos de francés, alemán y español preferido. Los titulares de pasaportes de la UE al frente de la línea. Posititons disponible a mediados de febrero. Los interesados ​​enviar su información a continuación.
Suche nach Liebe in einer fremden Sprache: Native Französisch, Deutsch und Spanisch sprechende bevorzugt. EU-Pass besitzen, die vor der Linie. Posititons ab Mitte Februar. Interessenten senden Sie Ihre Informationen weiter unten.
Vous cherchez l'amour dans une langue étrangère: langue maternelle française, allemande et espagnole préférée. Les détenteurs de passeports de l'UE à l'avant de la ligne. Posititons disponible à la mi-Février. Les parties intéressées soumettre vos informations ci-dessous.

Goal: Visit The Pyramids

When I visit the time pyramids I will bring my hammer.  And my nails. And my lumber.  You see, when I get there I'm gonna build a time machine.  My student, a boy with Down syndrome, gave me the blueprints. He drew them himself with a blue crayon.  When he gave them to me he whispered in my ear with a cupped hand--so softly I couldn't hear a word he said--the secret of time travel.  I am not quite sure how it will go, his plans don't really make any sense to me, but I'm gonna do it, and it's gonna work, and when I'm done and it takes me back, back, way back and I find out that ancient secret, when I see how they laid massive stone upon massive stone, I will come back and I will tell you.  I will cup my hand, and I will whisper in your ear, and I will speak so softly that you can't hear a word I say, but you will feel my breath on your ear, and the warmth of my hand through the mound of hair I press against your skull just behind your ear with my cupped fingers, and you will not hear a word I say, but a secret more ancient and profound than piled stones will you come to understand.


Goal: Dive Arabia, Australia, and Asia

The deeper, the bluer.  Every other color is lost down there. It is the world, blue above and below.  My color, my world.  Just blue. In summers past I steeped in the magical dancing blue of grandma's pool that caught the rays off the mountains whose peaks whispered to us the speed of light. I soaked up the blue of the ocean's spring air which greeted me from sidewalk's end on my walk to school, when the migrating whales played with the horizon and sang the blues. Hers was green, mine is blue.  Today it's my mood, my muse: Copic B21, the flatted 5th, a Santa Fe lightning bolt.  Living in an ocean of blue I learn to breathe, and to dream; It is very wet.

Goal: Make Big Mistakes

Sex with strangers, buying lottery tickets, expressing my emotions. That's what I'm talking bout. In my head there's an army trying to keep me from doing these things. The army is made up mostly of people like you. People I know. People to whom these actions would be hard to justify, or simply to explain. I've gone into hiding from you crazies in my head. I've started to live in the real world, amongst revolutionaries. They say different things to me than you did. They ask different questions. With bandages wrapped shabbily around their bloody heads and noses broken they say things like, "Welcome to Egypt" and "Christian or Muslim?" and  "What's your name?" I say to them, "I'm actually leaving Egypt--the thought hit me to go and 20 minutes later I had a ticket to Kuala Lumpur--but thanks." And I tell them, "Come on, you ask my religion straight out like that?  You gotta butter me up a little first, how bout some foreplay? At least you're gonna have to buy a guy a drink, if you want him to give that up on the first date." And I say, "My name is Christopher, and I bang my drum for God with the guy who said, if you are gonna sin, sin boldly."

Goal: Spanish Immersion

In kindergarten we learned both the A and B side tracks for the the months of the year song. It wasn't until much later in life that I realized not every kid in the US gets to hear the tune in Spanish too. Español, I thought, was as much a part of every American kid's experience of kindergarten as giving pennies to clean the statue of liberty, making peanut butter, and learning how to milk a cow--first, cup your hand, squeeze the index finger and thumb around the udder making a small circle, pull down, as the utter begins to squirt milk into the bucket, keep pulling down and squeeze with each successive finger towards the bucket, until you get to the pinky, switch hands, repeat. I thought everyone had friends named Oswaldo who owned a pit bull. And Enrique. And that all kids gave each other nicknames like Pescado if you in any way resembled a fish. It's been a disappointment to find out that in life outside of kindergarten Spanish isn't spoken much. I've always wanted to go back there, to swim again in that foreign wor(l)d, like a fish. Call me Pescado.


Goal: Write & Perform My Own Song

Sing in front of an auditorium, or stand before them naked?  Hmm. Tough one. Standing there naked at least I wouldn't have to open my mouth. To open my mouth and make even the slightest sound is to pull the cork from the damn--flood, death--or, stay quiet--drought, death. 
I'll sing.  I'll flow with nature, let the music flow through me, the words flow through me.  I'll remember they aren't mine, not to keep nor to give, they're simply there to flow.  And they'll flow, and I'll stand there naked, and I'll die.  Not a bad way to go.

Goal: An Intercontinental Sailing Voyage

I fold four dimensions down to two as my right pointer finger, through time and space, traces a simple circle on the surface of the earth. With each step more of a circle I become and my life more a story. But closing circles don't speak of stories' ends. This is hardly more than a middle, if not just a beginning. Soon I'll take my circle by one end and hammer it down, spike it into the ground, get into a ship, and stretch it out. I'll hurl its loops over the edge as I cross the sea, and I'll stretch, stretch, stretch it tight, until it takes the shape of a perfect, single, straight line. When I land again on dry ground, I'll spike down my line on that side as well. Spent and tired I'll collapse into the earth. Grounded. With my top eye closed I'll look along my line stretching from there to here. I'll look it down, straight on end, and two dimensions will fold into one. According to Euclid it's that which has no part.  My circle, my line, my story, my life, a single point.


Goal: Visit Every Continent

With every step the world is getting both bigger and smaller. I don't exactly understand how that's possible, but it's true, and step by step I feel both further from and closer to you.


Goal: Smile More

My mom says I came out of a womb with a smile on my face.  Where did things go wrong? Maybe it was when I fell on my head, got my Harry Potter scar, and woke up in the ER in a straight jacket chained to the bed; that wasn't the best experience.  Or maybe it was the pliers and snapping roots I can still hear in my mind from that time the dentist pulled four teeth out without enough la-la gas.  But wait, if I really think about it, I'm pretty sure I stopped smiling the day I realized I had Nothing to hide.


Goal: Ski the Andes

Ever since I was a kid the idea of skiing upside-down in August has held me captive. Other enduring childhood fixations include bubble gum cigarettes, fire crackers, and Twinkies. Go figure.


Goal: Do the Literature Segment at St. John's

I didn't used to like reading. Then I did. Now I'm not so sure.


Goal: Presence


It only just occured to me, after posting all these goals, that what I really want out of life is simply to be there for it.